Debbie Currie – You Can Do Magic

I don’t have an mp3 of this unfortunately (hey, come back) but, since I covered the second strangest record of 1997 a couple of weeks ago, I have no option but to mention this too.

The song was a cover of Limmie and the Family Cookin’s You Can Do Magic sung by Debbie Currie (daughter of the Ramsey-slapping, egg bashing, prime minister shagging Edwina Currie). I use the word ‘sung’ in the Milli Vanilli sense of the word. The song was actually sung by Sinitta of So Macho and sleeping with Simon Cowell “fame”. Currie herself has the voice of an angel – albeit an angel that’s swallowed a set of bagpipes and an angry cat. Needless to say, it was bloody awful.

However, the celeb family connection together with dubious tabloid stories of six times a night, four-in-a-bed, underage romps and her willingness to pose with only a thong and two strategically placed fried eggs to cover her ‘modesty’ made sure there was plenty of publicity. Adding to the overwhelming urge to vomit out your own eyes is the fact that Debbie bears an uncanny resemblance to her mother which made photos of her look like a head shot of the Tory MP hastily photoshopped onto the body of a page three girl. See the egg picture here if you think you’ve got the stomach for it and have a reckless disregard for your mental health.

Just another day in the wonderful world of pop? Not so. It eventually transpired that the record was an attempt by ITV’s flagship investigative journalism show The Cook Report to prove how easy it was to rig the charts. They went round carefully selected record shops buying arm-loads of copies. Consequently, the single went in like a bullet at number 86.

The bulk buying had been noticed by chart compilers CIN and been discounted. But, never one to let the facts get in the way of dull story, Cook pressed ahead with the programme only to be faced with legal action which meant the programme had to be re-edited.

The Cook Report was cancelled in 1998.